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Bob

How to Find the Rarest MVP

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AKA The Trap Checklist

A passing remark about a certain Whitesmith who hangs around in her underwear in Caspen drew my attention and planted the seeds for this guide. (I’m using the female pronoun here loosely ‘cause hate to break it to you kid, I’m 99.99% sure that hot chick is a dude.) But don’t worry Ms. WS, I ain’t judging, in fact I’m applauding, ‘cause who doesn’t appreciate a well put together sprite?


With what feels like 80% of headgear options leaning toward the kawaii as opposed to the cool side, we’re spoiled for options when it comes to making traps… errr picking out our ensemble. And I’ve seen female sprites ranging from cute to elegant. In fact, I know a guy (no, it’s not me) who ONLY plays using female sprites. His philosophy is: I’m a guy, why would I want to look at another guy (sprite)? And it’s not like female sprite users are actually passing themselves off as real life girls. So always keep in mind, don’t judge the player by their sprite. There’s more to us than meet the eye. 


But if you’re really curious and gender is that important to you, here’s a checklist of what I have observed, so far:

 

     1.    She is someone’s girlfriend
If she’s new to RO, then her boyfriend probably invited her… or her brother or some other male relation. (I wonder if there’s a dad somewhere out there who’s teaching his daughter to click gold porings.)
If she’s a vet, she’s probably someone’s mum or wife or (again) girlfriend. Hey, this game’s been around even before some players have been born, of course vets have lives.


     2.    She knows her Bio
Maybe it’s because of their nurturing nature? IDK but girls seem to gravitate toward this specific job, and not just for AFK farming. So if she can wipe the floor with your sorry… uhh corpse, then congratulations! You’re looking at a 20% RL girl.


     3.    She is a GM
I’ll share my theory with you. Most (if not all) of the GM’s that last in this server are girls. Why? Probably because they have a higher tolerance for BS than guys. You gotta admit boys, we’re not the easiest crowd to get along with. (At this point, I wouldn’t even be surprised if the Admin turns out to be a girl.)


     4.    She is a guild leader/officer
If you combine the 2 previous qualification, this is what it leads to. You guys better appreciate it.


     5.    She is wary of boys
They’re smart. They’ve been around enough online games to know how to handle flirts, pickups and whatnot. So don’t even think about it, even if they’re all friendly. They’re just that, friendly. If she seems TOO friendly, I hate to burst your bubble Kavach, but wise up, she’s probably a trap. 

 

So there you go. The more items you tick off this list, the likelier it is that the attractive player you’re looking at is a real life girl… Well either that or she’s a very good trap. Huh, I guess I just made it harder for you. /gg
 

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@dirtysin oh don't mind me, it's just funny how in this day and age, some guys are still gullible. My philosophy is: All players are guys until proven otherwise.

 

On 10/10/2019 at 4:15 PM, iAloneAmHoly said:

KILL EM ALL!

^

Gender equality /gg

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